Cocktail Rules
I can be a stickler for cocktail rules. What are cocktail rules, you ask? Well, they are specific precepts that one should follow when making, drinking, and enjoying a cocktail.
All in all, I follow most rules in my daily life. I don't cross the street until the red hand disappears, and the glowing walk guy comes into view. I don't drink wine in the park unless I am in Europe or New Orleans. I use my blinker, and I follow the speed limit with extreme precision. I even try my hardest not to wear white after Labor Day.
Most modern cocktail books start with a list of rules. Some are better than others, and some are more strict than others. Most say something about only using clear hard ice, or all juice must be double strained, and all ingredients must be jiggered in order of cheapest to most expensive. Many of these rules have asterisks or conclude with "unless specified," meaning there are plenty of exceptions.
Some of my favorite rules include this list from The Nomad Cocktail Book in the chapter "How to use this book":
All juice is fresh and double strained
Butter is unsalted
Cream is heavy
Eggs are extra large and organic
Herbs are fresh
Milk is whole
Salt is kosher
Sugar is granulated
Another set I enjoy can be found in On Drink by Kingsley Amis. His rules have a bit of wiggle room, my favorite kind of rules. Here are two of what he calls his "General Principles":
G.P. 2: Any drink traditionally accompanied by a bit of fruit or vegetable is worth trying with a spot of the juice thrown in as well.
G.P. 3: It is more important that a cold drink should be as cold as possible than that it should be as concentrated as possible.
As I look back down the long road of my cocktail-journey, I find myself remembering different stages and different rules. The first stage, as most of us experienced, contained no rules. It was free for all and mostly unpalatable—cheap beer, cheaper vodka, trash can punch, etc.
As more rules came into play, the drinks got better but only to a point because the purpose of rules is order and standardization. There is no room for personality or style in a list of rules on how to make something. Rules behind a bar are different than the rules at home and are there for that consistency. While managing a bar, I needed John to make the same [insert ~2014 pun influenced yet obscure cocktail name] as Frank every time. I needed them to recreate my idea, not theirs.
I also needed the inventory numbers to come out in favor of the bar. Thus, the order of ingredients rules to prevent wasting liquid gold. Eventually, following all the rules will lead you to a dilemma. I can assure you I said the words "do as I say, not as I do" plenty of times when filling in on a busy night.
Other rules I incorporated had little to do with drinks but more with drinking or ambiance for the guests. One such regulation was: don't throw empty bottles in the trash can. Set them in gently, so you don't disturb the guests at the bar. Another was: always test the pen on the back of the receipt before handing a guest their bill to sign.
These days as a retired bartender, I break most of the rules, and the drinks haven't suffered. A few weeks ago, I whipped up a Martini in a plastic measuring cup, stirred it with a chopstick, and strained it with a slotted spoon because that is what I had to work with, and it was great. The old me would shudder at such poor technique, but the current me wanted a drink!
For anyone starting out with cocktails, I would recommend following the rules. They give good foundational knowledge for when you ultimately decide to break them.
My biggest hesitation with the basic cocktail rules is that they leave no room for style. Rules have no time for your personality, and drinks should have character. You know I am not fond of the basic 2:1 cocktails. I consider them to be rule-based Martinis and Manhattans—no character, no style, and only suitable for the masses. For those drinks, I say break the rule and find the ratio that fits you.
These days I am pretty loose with my cocktail preparation, and I have never enjoyed drinking more. I rarely measure, I don't count my stirs, I can't remember the last time I shook something, and I don't even know where my double strainer is. The drinks are cold, and the ingredients (whatever order they are in) are quality. However, I do still set empty bottles in the trash can as gently as possible.