G.P. 5 Kingsley Amis’ Ten General Principles
Bubbly drinks act faster
Welcome back to the next iteration of my focus on the general principles Kingsley Amis lists in his excellent book, Everyday Drinking: The Distilled Kingsley Amis.
In the book, he lists ten general principles, which can be summarized:
For drinks accompanied by fruit or vegetables, try adding juice
Bubbly drinks act faster
Soak fruit in liquor before adding to a drink
Commercial mixes are okay
Wine preparation is important, but price is more so
He who believes he has a hangover does not
Eating fattens you
To refresh yourself on past principles, feel free to follow the links above to previous entries.
Onward!
G.P. 5:
The alcohol in any bubbly drink will reach you faster than in its still version. Hence, or partly hence, the popularity of Champagne at weddings and other festivities.
This is an interesting principle because it is one we have all experienced. The phenomenon happens at a wedding or a social event where Champagne or some other sparkling wine flows freely. After a few glasses, you realize the nibbles of cheese and crackers you had a few hours ago are not enough to counteract the boozy bubbles within you and before you know it you are dancing the Cha-Cha Slide with all the bridesmaids or quickly tearing up to the obligatory playing of Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle.
There are some scientific studies on this exact subject you could read up on (minus the dancing/crying part), but I'll simplify the complicated science jargon contained in them shortly.
First, I would like to talk about fizzy drinks in general and how to keep fizzy drinks fizzy. When I first started drinking, the Gin and Tonic was my go-to. I loved it then, and I still do today. The major problem with that lovely highball and what differentiates a good G&T from a bad one is carbonation. Most of them cross the bar poured sadly flat. There are PLENTY of reasons for this, and they all stem from laziness. Don't get me started on airport Gin and Tonics...
For carbon dioxide to stay in a liquid solution, that liquid must be cold. Room temperature spirits don't do your mixer of choice any favors. Also, any objects that disrupt said fizzy liquid make the gas escape faster, like jiggers, spoons, dirty glasses with their millions of minuscule nucleation points, and ice. A major pet peeve of mine is watching a bartender measure carbonated liquid like a tonic, seltzer, Cava, or a fancy-schmancy house-made soda with a jigger before dumping it in your glass—so many lost bubbles. Another peeve is using room temperature mixers. Some bars prefer not to refrigerate their mixers, and that glorious *KTSXXSSHHHH* sound you hear when a warm can or bottle is opened is all that fizziness escaping into the ether.
So how do you make a fizzy drink, and how do you keep its fizziness intact? I am glad you asked.
The first thing to do is make sure everything is cold. You can (and should) keep your preferred G&T gin in the freezer; if you like Scotch highballs, keep that bottle in the chill chest too. Whiskey or rum to pair with a Coca-Cola? Same deal. If you don't have room in your icebox, make sure to pour your preferred spirit over a big piece of ice and stir it for a good thirty seconds. While stirring, your spirit will interact with the ice, and the hard edges of the ice will smooth out so as not to disrupt the mixer you'll be adding shortly. This will leave you with a cold spirit and smooth ice, but know that when you add your mixer, the spirit is already a fair bit diluted so keep that in mind when topping off.
The next step is just being gentle. You want to save those bubbles, so pour your cold mixer slowly over your now chilled spirit and ice. Be delicate, and you will be rewarded with a fizzy drink. If you don't do any of these things, the drink will be plain, flat, and boring and not the refreshing masterpiece a fizzy drink was intended to be. If you've done all these things right, that one big piece of ice should be enough.
This video should help you see that exact process:
So let's get back to why these fizzy drinks hit you harder, faster, and stronger.
Imagine shaking up a bottle of carbonated liquid, your favorite soda, or perhaps you have a lot of imaginary cash around, and you splurge for a bottle of hypothetical Champagne. I'll imagine my childhood favorite, a can of orange soda. Now shake your preferred imaginary fizzy beverage and feel how firm the can or plastic bottle becomes. This is all CO2 wanting to escape. Take my word for it if you went with an allegorical bottle of Champers or a glass-bottled Mexican Coke. Now without waiting for a second longer, crack that thing open!
We all know how this plays out—a total mess. The gas (and most of the delicious orange liquid) will rush out of the opening and go everywhere. This is the same thing that happens in your stomach when you down a glass of Cava because you've simply moved the fizzy liquid from one vessel, the can or bottle, to another, your tummy. Now you are full of carbonated liquid, and it needs somewhere to go to release the building pressure!
Your stomach can only hold so much, and if it is filled with gas and exerting pressure just like within my shaken up can of imaginary orange soda, you will experience gastric distension. To use what little Latin I remember from high school, that basically means tummy swelling. If you think of your full stomach as a room with an entry door and an exit door, this liquid has a choice to make. If it goes back towards the entry, you will experience reflux due to the added pressure to your esophageal sphincter, which can be thought of as a sign that says "One Way. Do Not Enter." Your body doesn't always read the sign, or maybe you have a weak sphincter, and you get acid reflux.
If things go the other much preferred way, your Scotch and soda or glass of Champagne get a much quicker tour of the tummy than something un-carbonated and pushes on through the stomachs exit to the small intestine, where all that alcohol can be absorbed more readily and ahead of schedule. It isn't about the ABV of whatever you drank so much as the carbonation acting like a skip the line pass to the intestines because of the pressure.
So there you go! That is how you keep your drinks fizzier and why they hit you quicker. Perhaps, this is also why people laugh so hard at the opening jokes the bride's father tells before his speech.
Here is Dave Arnold explaining the perfect gin and tonic, and make sure to pay attention because he is most certainly going to use that science jargon I mentioned earlier:
Tune in next week for G.P. 6 where punch will be the main topic of discussion.
G.P. 6:
With drinks containing fruit (other than the decorative or olfactory slice of lemon, orange, etc.) it is really worth while to soak the fruit in some of the liquor for at least three hours beforehand.
Thanks for reading!