Roger, Roger, what’s our vector, Victor?
At the end of next month, my wife and I will fly on an airplane for the first time since this whole COVID thing began. I am a little nervous/excited, but I am usually that way before flying anyway. Truly, I have never been great on an airplane. Sure, my brain understand how it works, but my heart likes to stay on the ground with all the other beings that don’t have wings. One thing that helps with my flight anxiety is a drink or two!
Now, airplane drinking is in a drastically different and currently tense category of imbibing, but I always look forward to that little cart rolling down the aisle once we reach cruising altitude.
Morning Flights
Ah yes, the bleary-eyed scramble to the airport. What did I forget to pack? Do you have the tickets or do I? (A question I still ask even though they are all digital these days.) The better question would be, where is my phone?
Whether you are parking a car in the long-term lot, tipping a driver for the ride, or taking the subway, that ride to the airport first thing in the morning can be stressful. I think of morning flights in the same way that I think of brunch, I’d rather not do it, and if you are going to make me, then I am going to be drinking.
There is a time cut off, however—drinks at breakfast are weird, while drinks at brunch are okay. The same goes for the plane, if the wheels are up by 10am, I say go for it.
But what is a good morning flight drink? There are two correct answers, a Bloody Mary, or my personal morning flight favorite, the Screwdriver.
Bloody Mary
Hopefully, you don’t NEED a Bloody, but fully understandable if you do. Airplane hangovers are the worst, and good luck trying to explain that your nausea and headache aren't something worse these days. Truthfully, if you are in bad shape before a flight, an airport bar is a better bet for a Bloody Mary than the plane will be. Anything on the ground is leaps and bounds better than a can of Mr. and Mrs. T. That being said, it is still a decent drink for a flight and one that you can sip on slowly. Moreover, tomato juice tastes better in the air because, science.
Screwdriver
Along the same lines as the tomato juice, everyone knows that airplane orange juice is rather tasty while defying gravity. Airplane cocktails are usually stout, especially if you get to mix the ingredients yourself, and that boozy kick works well with a Screwdriver as the crummy airplane ice starts to melt and evens things out.
Afternoon Flights
Now here is where things can really get in the air. I prefer an afternoon flight because it leaves me time to have a nice breakfast, pack, and read the paper before stressing about X-ray machines and windspeed. My choice of drink for flights in the afternoon all depend on the weather and if I need to drive when I get to where I am going, hopefully not. I also never order beer on the plane.
Gin and Tonic
A G&T at the airport is notorious for being flat, but in the air you get a fresh can of tonic. Some airlines are carrying fancier brands, but most of the time you’ll get a Schweppes or Canada Dry tonic, and they are just fine for a weak dose of quinine at 36,000 feet. Most of the time the little sliver of who-knows-how-old lime or lemon isn’t worth messing with, so if asked I decline citrus.
Scotch and Soda
Depending on the airline, your choice of brown spirits may be rather interesting. I don’t mind a Dewar’s at home, so I certainly don’t mind it on the plane. A Scotch and Soda makes for a great airplane drink, but I have also been known to go domestic and order a Wild Turkey on the rocks, if they have it. To that, I often add a splash from the bottle of overpriced smartwater or Fiji that I bought in the terminal for an arm and a leg.
Evening Flights
Unless I am flying overseas, I am not a huge fan of an evening flight. You always get to your destination too late to do anything fun, and I, personally, spend all day preoccupied with the airport jitters, so I don’t get anything important done.
In terms of beverages, it really depends if you are having a meal or not and where you are sitting on the plane. If you are in the comfy front seats, your wine will come out of an actual bottle and will be far better than what is served on the other side of the curtain towards the rear of the plane. The airline also makes a big difference, wine on Air France is a good call (they also serve Armagnac after dinner) while I would probably avoid the nectar of the vine when flying Spirit or South West. Most of the time you have your choice of Red, probably a Cabernet, or White, you can bet on a lightly oaked Chardonnay, and sometimes if you are lucky or flying internationally they have bubbles!
Canned Cocktails
Delta is now serving a couple of canned cocktails like an Old Fashioned or a Margarita, and those make a great pre-dinner or pre-flight sipper. In the past, I would have steered you clear of canned cocktails, but they have gotten better and better of the past few years. I would go with a Negroni if they have one available.
Wine
As I said before, don’t expect too much, and you won’t be too disappointed. Nobody raves about airplane food or the wine list, but as a purist, I prefer wine to spirts when I am having a meal. I usually stick with whatever the white is.
Whisky on the Rocks
Again, depending on the airline, there will most likely be a Single Malt in the Glenlivet or Glenfiddich range. You could certainly do better on the ground, but for flying those aren’t bad choices. Ask for light ice or ice on the side and enjoy.
At the Airport
I like to scout out my options while in the terminal. Even with lounge access, I am a sucker for sitting down at an airport bar to mingle for a few minutes. I have said for years that if you travel often you need to learn how to drink five things: Johnnie Walker Black, Jack Daniel's, Tanqueray Gin, cheap lager, and Guinness. You will be able to order those ANYWHERE on the planet if you’re in an airport. If those choices don’t put some lift in your wings, then I don’t know what to tell you, maybe try some of these great airport bars:
Great Airport Bars
Vino Volo - Multiple Locations
One Flew South - Atlanta, Terminal E
Tortas Frontera - Chicago O’Hare, Terminals 1, 3, and 5
Reilly’s Daughter - Chicago Midway, Concourse A
Cure - New Orleans, Concourse C
UNCORK’D - San Francisco, Terminal 3
Stone Brewing - San Diego, Terminal 2
What is your favorite airport bar?